Facts Ruin The Story

August 27th, 2008 | Marketing |

This post’s headline couldn’t be farther from the truth. Facts are a crucial part of relating your brands story, you omit them at your own peril.

Show me web copy or advertisements that fail to substantiate claims and the odds are it’s generic and unpersuasive.

For instance, BattleRidge Builders created a thread on ContractorTalk.com for their new website. What follows is my review, it will help you learn how to use facts as the basis for creating a compelling story.

There is room for improvement in the website copy.

For instance,

Quote From The BRB Website:

Quality comes first and we take extra steps to make durable, dependable products we are proud to call our own. Corners won’t be cut to increase production, and we come through when you’re in a pinch.

Yawn. It’s too generic. Quality and dependability are no longer defining but expected, so it’s not really a selling point unless you say how you achieve it.

The Sam Adams commercials are excellent examples, specifically Hop Til You Drop. “We’re a great tasting beer because we only use noble hops. Where other brewers use a dash (2.7 ounces) of hops, we use a pound (16oz) per barrel.” The visuals in the ad are powerful, especially where 2.7oz is compared next to 16oz. For an audience who are not beer connoisseurs the imagery engenders confidence that yes, Sam Adams makes a superb tasting beer.

For a General Contractor deciding to hire a sub-contractor I’m betting safety is an important criteria. Maybe you could use copy that states, “All our builders are certified by *insert accredited safety course here*, in addition to passing our own strenuous safety requirements. As a result, we’ve been accident free for the past 960 days. That’s the equivalent of building a 2,330 square foot, 4 bedroom Victorian home 32 times over without a single injury.”

You might even include a safety checklist that shows how your requirments exceed the standards set by the accredited safety course.

Notice that each story uses facts to make it more believable. The BattleRidge example takes this a step further. It’s hard to visualize “960 days,” so adding the bit about the number of homes built during the time frame provides context for the General Contractor. When you use imagery that a person relates with it’s that much easier for them to wrap their mind around abstractions and larger numbers.

Remember that substance sells.

Tags: copywriting, persuasion